be something better

I declared today to be one that I explore the city. That I figure out how to get to more places than one and I have successfully landed myself in Fido's. This is a brilliant place to know considering that I have every intention of spending large amounts of time here. The area is more fun, upbeat, younger, etc. I like it here.

The artwork on the walls here is making me more excited to get my camera back in my hands and fill up my damn sketchbook [downsizing from a large pad to a small moleskin sketchbook where I will not only fill the pages with drawings but also with pieces of the summer.

While battling the loneliness, this past week was difficult and yet I am feeling more at home here. Prom was interesting... fun because it was spent with Richard, Ellie and Joey, but not fun because it was prom. The work we put into it was insane, but I loved every minute of it, even if there were nights I was overwhelmed with everything, and then that on top.

I met a girl named Leigh. She is strong and smart. An overachiever, an overcomer. She is a girl who has learned how to be her own person, as much as you can at 16, and yet take the knocks of life and go on. She was open enough with me to let me ask her questions and just learn more about her. She was completely open to my questions and was happy that she could share them with me. We talked for at least an hour and left the evening by exchanging numbers and telling her that I live near her school and would love to get lunch with her sometime.

Last night Ellie, Mark and I sat around cups of ice cream at Coldstone and talked about life. about addictions, hurts and pains, our dads. It was good to see Mark in a different element than I am used to - to be able to talk with him in a smaller setting and get to know him for who he is. I have begun the hazing process with him, which is hilarious to me. As people become more comfortable around him and vis versa his way of showing affection is by "beating up" on them, which to me is a reminder of the days when my brothers and I would fight in the parlor of our house.

Hugs have become one of my favorite things. The amount of physical contact received at school compared to the amount received here is much less. Therefore they have become something of comfort; prized, desired, and appreciated.

I am praying that I am able to transfer to the store literally one mile from my house... With gas prices as they are. It is too ridiculous to be driving from Old Hickory/Edmundson to Cool springs to down town most days.

The goal and desire is to be something better than I am today. To seek after the Lord and to choose to make the best out of everything and be the best I can be.