Monet to Dali

Caitlin is here.

We are adjusting to one another, but thus far, I love her being here. Our apartment is a home now. Even though I have to make sure that if someone knocks on the door I'm prepared to let them know that I am Mark's girlfriend and he is at work right now.

Speaking of Mark... he's letting us use his ultra comfy futon for the summer! We're picking it up tomorrow, along with a free coffee table (possibly a tv stand too), and a couch for about $15. Our friend Ben is letting us use his truck in exchange for a homemade meal at the house. Sleepover season is at hand.

As time goes on I am becoming more and more comfortable with who I am and who I am becoming. I have never felt as much myself as I do here, nor have I ever felt as at home so quickly in a different place than I do here.

I was telling Kent [my boss] of how I feel so blessed here. I feel like everyone has willingly and graciously accepted me and loved me. They treat me like I have been there for months, and I have to admit, I have found great friends. Friends that take me to new places, and discover with me the places that have become cobwebs in their minds, only because I've never been there before. They've taken me on last summer's adventures and told me how they look forward so much so to these adventures this summer. They've made way for visits to Waffle houses at odd hours, to the Frist, to The End, Dragon Park (where I revisited my fear of heights), and drives that require only music and no conversation. I have truly found great friends, I could not ask for anything better.

Today we went to the Frist. The Frist is the art museum in downtown Nashville. Joey's dad is the curator. The exhibit Monet to Dali there (and will be leaving the first). So in the last hour of open doors we explored a little - it was free college student day, Praise the Lord (Cait and I are both... well not real wealthy). Meandering around I knew I would find something that would make me stand in my tracks, almost bring me to tears, an overwhelming emotion that I am never really sure what to do with. I stood in front of a Van Gogh - the Poplar Trees. It was beautifully crafted and elegant and careless, yet filled with every bit of attention Vincent could have given it. And in That moment I wondered why I haven't pursued painting. In the very next moment I was empowered to do everything I ever wanted to do. Pursue my dreams. Be that girl and lady and woman of courage and dignity, originality, individuality, and filled with love and grace, saved and loving others that I want to be. I realized that I can be a photographer. I can be anything I want. I can go to grad school for something other than photography, who cares. At the same time, I can do what I want, what I feel like God is calling me to do. What I feel like I've been created to do. I love it. I love life. I love life here, in Nashville.

I can't wait to see how you all have changed and how you all are learning, because I am excited for you to see who I am becoming.

i love you.

Wake Up.

i lied. Chase is 9.
Fido has become one of my favorite places to be alone, yet be surrounded by people. It took probably 15-20 minutes to get here, maybe less, but gas is expensive so, until I make bank I should probably cut down.

This past weekends shows were slow, nothing too exciting, until Happy Box played. The Ballad of Life is their newest song. It was written [if I am remembering correctly] and the recorded in celebration of Summer.

In the past week I have tried to make my time and energy meaningful. Part of that is putting into practice the idea that Mark, Ellie and I discussed of thinking positively: dwelling on the good. Living life so that if I've woken up that morning, it's already a good day. Thus far, my days have been ten thousand times better. I am enjoying work more, the people there more (whom I am growing to love). The Lord has given me strength to work a show at Rocketown after working at starbucks for the day and still have plenty of energy to go out afterwards.

I am currently learning how to skateboard. Caitlin is coming tonight. Last night I went to a friend's house for Memorial Day festivities. It was one of the more fun things that I have done since being here. I felt at ease and just hanging out and having a good time. I fell asleep in Indiana Jones (it wasn't really that good.... sorry Indy).

This week I met a Scottish man, a man and woman from New Zealand and a photographer from LA who is going to let me come and observe him for a day.

Things are wonderful here in Nashville.

6th Ave

This is Chase: He is 7 [or so they say]. His ability to skate is incredible. He schooled all the other kids in the park when he was there.

This is Worm: He does BMX. Last week the chain on his bike broke, however, he still rode it and did tricks and bettered his abilities.

This is the first time I've touched my camera in a month. So, thus starts the documentation of the kids at Rocketown/6th Ave Skate Park.

be something better

I declared today to be one that I explore the city. That I figure out how to get to more places than one and I have successfully landed myself in Fido's. This is a brilliant place to know considering that I have every intention of spending large amounts of time here. The area is more fun, upbeat, younger, etc. I like it here.

The artwork on the walls here is making me more excited to get my camera back in my hands and fill up my damn sketchbook [downsizing from a large pad to a small moleskin sketchbook where I will not only fill the pages with drawings but also with pieces of the summer.

While battling the loneliness, this past week was difficult and yet I am feeling more at home here. Prom was interesting... fun because it was spent with Richard, Ellie and Joey, but not fun because it was prom. The work we put into it was insane, but I loved every minute of it, even if there were nights I was overwhelmed with everything, and then that on top.

I met a girl named Leigh. She is strong and smart. An overachiever, an overcomer. She is a girl who has learned how to be her own person, as much as you can at 16, and yet take the knocks of life and go on. She was open enough with me to let me ask her questions and just learn more about her. She was completely open to my questions and was happy that she could share them with me. We talked for at least an hour and left the evening by exchanging numbers and telling her that I live near her school and would love to get lunch with her sometime.

Last night Ellie, Mark and I sat around cups of ice cream at Coldstone and talked about life. about addictions, hurts and pains, our dads. It was good to see Mark in a different element than I am used to - to be able to talk with him in a smaller setting and get to know him for who he is. I have begun the hazing process with him, which is hilarious to me. As people become more comfortable around him and vis versa his way of showing affection is by "beating up" on them, which to me is a reminder of the days when my brothers and I would fight in the parlor of our house.

Hugs have become one of my favorite things. The amount of physical contact received at school compared to the amount received here is much less. Therefore they have become something of comfort; prized, desired, and appreciated.

I am praying that I am able to transfer to the store literally one mile from my house... With gas prices as they are. It is too ridiculous to be driving from Old Hickory/Edmundson to Cool springs to down town most days.

The goal and desire is to be something better than I am today. To seek after the Lord and to choose to make the best out of everything and be the best I can be.

radiohead? really?

today is the Radiohead show in Atlanta - only four hours away. Tim is attending with his entire posse. Melanie has two extra tickets and invited El and I, however, they both have to work today, so I am listening to them instead. I will take a long nap, wake and clean, figure out how to get to the bank, if there is a bank, head to Rocketown for a bbq, possibly a movie, and that will be the events of the day, unless if they turn out to be crazier than that.

Work has been hard. Starbucks is a place that I really loved working [for two long years] but I had hoped I would never work there again. Not that I dislike it, but I had hoped my time would be done. I had hoped that I would find a job elsewhere and be able to work there and love it and enjoy it for a time - make more money perhaps. I am waiting for that opportunity. I want Rocketown to be my main focus, but like Ellie said "Starbucks is your job" Rocketown is not my official job until June (oh Lord, bring June quickly). I am hoping and dreaming that Rocketown finds an opening where I can work full time for the summer, but I can't place anything in that, it'd just be nice. So until then I am becoming my own coach and talking to myself preping my mind and heart for work, daily, hourly, even minutely sometimes.

I know that this, Nashville/Rocketown, is where I am supposed to be. It is going to be hard, but I am asking the Lord for an abundance of grace and supernatural energy and strength to get through the days to come.

Last night was the first night of soccer for the summer - unfortunately I haven't played in years, so I am going to have to brush up on my skills and play so that I can play on Wednesday nights. Kids from the Y came [refugees, I was told], a few skate kids, kids who don't like going home, or can't, Kent and Ben, who were hilarious to watch play, but definitely both good, and a few soccer girls. Overall, soccer games are going to be intense and good. Ben said Ellie was so intense last year that she ripped off a guys toenail in route of the game - I'm sure there are many many more stories that will be so good to hear about Ellie and years prior.

I got my first piece of mail yesterday, but Mark still has it, so... until I receive that mail I will not be on the internet as often as I would like, and when I do, I will get a library card!

Nights are lonely here. I don't want to feel like Ellie's shadow, I want to build her and encourage her and love her, but have other people view me as my own person. In time. In time. I just have to keep trusting and waiting and going on and loving and eventually things will pull together even more than they are. I'll be able to get to more places that 4. I am currently in need of getting some things fixed on my car, so when that happens, I am excited for, but I am waiting for one of Ellie's friends. And last but not least I need to get a shift covered next week so I can spend time with my future coworkers.

Unfortunately, this is not as interesting as they will become, but while things are slower, this is what I've got. I'll document more, when there's more to document.

i miss family. i miss friends.
people here are a blessing. i thank God for ellie, for her sharing this place with me, these people. we will see what God has in store.

now however, the 3:45a wake up is catching up with me and I am in serious need of a nap. so. peace.

Here. Nashville, Here.

There are a few things I've learned about Nashville and the South for only being here for four days:

Lesson number one [of the South]: Don't move your vehicle when there is a funeral processional at hand

Lesson #2: Don't speed in Brentwood or Franklin /there are also way too many cops in down town.

Lesson numero tres: Blinkers are apparently unnecessary.

In the past four days we have experienced rain so hard its considered a whiteout, which wich, meeting with Kent a metal show [where we encountered Gracyn for the first of the summer], a broken nose, a few fights, Cafe Coco [con Mark, Richard, and Joey], Sahd (at the Mediterranean restaurant) battle of the bands, Wal-Mart (grocery only), Casey's house, Waffle House, etc, etc.

These are only the beginning of the adventures, and until I have proof of living in Brentwood/Nashville I can't really use the internet that is offered at the public library um 5 steps away from the entrance to my apartment complex. So bare with me until I have a more frequent internet connection. The apartment is great, by the way, Mark however, left a smashed spider on the wall that I am thinking about gracefully packing up for him and his phobia that I share.

Oh, and I start my job at the good old starbucks tomorrow at noon.