Jesusland

Jesusland : [filled with misconceptions, disguises, selfish attitudes claiming the name of our selfless God] It's funny to me that several fee off of this country sits a place that is merely real and severely different. Not one individual within is putting on a mask to be something they're not. The masks are laid at the door, next to the invisible mat welcoming the world into its entry way. Here is where people are not condemned for their sins. Here is where Jesus would go to show love, to give love, that they might truly experience love and be free.

A cup of coffee that is oddly addictive, the only conclusion being that crack got added in somewhere in the mix. I sit across from my friend. He is smoking the cigarettes that are condemned. I watch. Admiring the designs the smoke is making, lingering, drifting, here and there, wherever it pleases. The smell is something familiar. I take it in, reminded of old times, and turn my head and continue to observe the regulars. Everyone accepted. The man in a navy shirt tucked into his belted pants ask if we are finished, takes our mugs, clears my friends ashtray with his tattooed forearm. Giving me a story that this man loves the sea [if only for a time when he was eighteen].

These kids love it here. Regulars. Drinking coffee that seemingly has additive Cocaine. The rings of smoke circling around them give me a different picture than the one I see from within Jesusland.

Few here don't smoke or have never smoked. I oddly enough love the smell of smoke. I always found smoking to be a disgusting habit, however, I never hated the smell like most people do. I didn't enjoy it or find it be something attractive until I liked a boy who smoked. Now, for some reason, I find it to be one of the more attractive things. Only certain people can pull it off well though. It's such an interesting process to me. Not about the smoke entering the lungs, rather about the act, the motions of it.

I want to understand things. Some of these people hate the environment, others view this as a great way to minister - to love the people of Mation. I've never been in one place for so long, in one day - in a place I've never spent time before, coming and going so many times in one day. Returning again and again I've been able to see who this diner caters to. Tonight there are kids who hate the Jesusland. Their are also kids who view this as their Jesusland - their way to love people as Jesus did.

I never realized this world that I am so close to.

I often, actually most of the time, take for granted the community that I am in. I never understood how beautiful it is because I am so used to it.

There is a woman who works here every night: Momma, or Hot Momma. Momma has beautiful hands.
"They're old.... with spots..."
"No. I think they are beautiful."
I wonder if anyone ever genuinely tells her how beautiful she is. There's evidence of a lifetime of work in spots, like freckles scattered across her hands. Knobby, bony, but they have a character all their own. A character that compliments her tall, thin body with lengthy hair. She serves all these kids on her own. She knows them by name... coming around
"More coffee Joel?" she often asks. but she has a servant's heart. She seems to thrive off these people. Young and Old. her skin tell sher age but the clothes keep her in a younger picture of herself. What is her real name?
I see a strength in her that I don't see in myself. i have the potential, just not the actual mindset. With a cigarette in hand she rarely sits. The cigarette acts as her resting. serving coffee, taking orders she takes the calm of the smoke and works vigorously with a tender yet hard heart. Loving but never taking shit.

nashville tomorrow. Jesusland has been a great experience.