why the hell not?!

In the past month or so I have reached many heights that I had NO clue I would reach. 

and i cannot be more excited about where i am at in life.  as much as i cannot wait to be near jeff and jax, i am glad for the everyday and where i am TODAY. [so thankyou nashville and everyone that i love for being there and making HERE home]

1. the [rabbit]. 

i have successfully had published and music review that i have written. MAJESTICO. circulating through the country, but the online version i will post soon.

2. i have officially been asked to sing in a band and write music. 

who knew my life-long dream has begun to blossom and seem like a reality!

3. my face has been published in a national fine art magazine! 

FOCUS (the Special 4th Anniversary Issue). 

[as soon as i get a legit photo of it, i will post that too]

4. Bicycle Kitchen

It's FINALLY happening! 

OCTOBER 22 - GRAND OPENING! [it'll be a party to kick off what we're doing in this community some of us like to call home, others know as Nashville]

I cannot be more thankful for where things are headed, where i've come from and who the hell knows what to expect next. 

AND

words to live by:

"why the hell not?!"

the end. 

love. love. love. 

k.

for now, sayonara.

my heart hurts. no boy. i've deleted that idea from my life for the time being - until further notice.

i have decided for myself that i need to be alone. i am young. i always forget that.

i need to remember that i am about 3-7 years younger than those around me. therefore, i shouldn't be where they are. therefore i don't need to be pushing so far ahead. take my time. take my time.

lately the only thing i want to do is move to seattle. it's killing me being so far from jeff and jax. and what's killing me even more is the reality of my finances. i don't believe i will be able to visit them this year. which, if i start to talk or think about it, i cry. no lies.

i hate being far away. i hate feeling alone... that i have no supporters here. i hate the feeling that i am a terrible artist. there is so much packed inside of me, so many different ideas, so much potential, but i can't bring them to fruition... they're stuck inside and it hurts. the feelings are real. i am a strong believer that emotions are very true, very real, and should never be discarded. (thank you jacquie & my old therapist for teaching me that).

so now. i'm stuck. what do i really want? to make art. to love. i want to sing, to make music, for a time. i haven't admitted that in years. somebody asked me why i don't? i responded "i don't know... i can't play any instrument" when in actually i should have said, "taylor asked me the same thing..."

so maybe music is a new avenue i can dance around in. we'll see. there are some opportunities. the real question is if i have the capability of being good.

for now sayonara.

love.