ready?
a. explore gunkanjima [status: journalists are now allowed to land on the island!]
and i can't remember the other goals that i had. so i'll have to edit. awesome.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
goals
i am compiling a list of goals [which will be added to], things that i really want to do in my lifetime.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
favorite : jake
far left: jake
One of my favorite things about having Bicycle Kitchen in the Bowl Room is that it is so close to all the skating that happens.... and all the people that do it. Today Jake [my absolute favorite student from summer camps in 2008] was in the park, it was great. it made my life a better place.... And that he remembered me and was so excited to see me. I loved being the care-taker & park nurse that summer, teaching and encouraging. sheesh. I loved it and today just made my life a better place
peace & love.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
why the hell not?!
In the past month or so I have reached many heights that I had NO clue I would reach.
and i cannot be more excited about where i am at in life. as much as i cannot wait to be near jeff and jax, i am glad for the everyday and where i am TODAY. [so thankyou nashville and everyone that i love for being there and making HERE home]
1. the [rabbit].
i have successfully had published and music review that i have written. MAJESTICO. circulating through the country, but the online version i will post soon.
2. i have officially been asked to sing in a band and write music.
who knew my life-long dream has begun to blossom and seem like a reality!
3. my face has been published in a national fine art magazine!
FOCUS (the Special 4th Anniversary Issue).
[as soon as i get a legit photo of it, i will post that too]
4. Bicycle Kitchen
It's FINALLY happening!
OCTOBER 22 - GRAND OPENING! [it'll be a party to kick off what we're doing in this community some of us like to call home, others know as Nashville]
I cannot be more thankful for where things are headed, where i've come from and who the hell knows what to expect next.
AND
words to live by:
"why the hell not?!"
the end.
love. love. love.
k.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
for now, sayonara.
my heart hurts. no boy. i've deleted that idea from my life for the time being - until further notice.
i have decided for myself that i need to be alone. i am young. i always forget that.
i need to remember that i am about 3-7 years younger than those around me. therefore, i shouldn't be where they are. therefore i don't need to be pushing so far ahead. take my time. take my time.
lately the only thing i want to do is move to seattle. it's killing me being so far from jeff and jax. and what's killing me even more is the reality of my finances. i don't believe i will be able to visit them this year. which, if i start to talk or think about it, i cry. no lies.
i hate being far away. i hate feeling alone... that i have no supporters here. i hate the feeling that i am a terrible artist. there is so much packed inside of me, so many different ideas, so much potential, but i can't bring them to fruition... they're stuck inside and it hurts. the feelings are real. i am a strong believer that emotions are very true, very real, and should never be discarded. (thank you jacquie & my old therapist for teaching me that).
so now. i'm stuck. what do i really want? to make art. to love. i want to sing, to make music, for a time. i haven't admitted that in years. somebody asked me why i don't? i responded "i don't know... i can't play any instrument" when in actually i should have said, "taylor asked me the same thing..."
so maybe music is a new avenue i can dance around in. we'll see. there are some opportunities. the real question is if i have the capability of being good.
for now sayonara.
love.
i have decided for myself that i need to be alone. i am young. i always forget that.
i need to remember that i am about 3-7 years younger than those around me. therefore, i shouldn't be where they are. therefore i don't need to be pushing so far ahead. take my time. take my time.
lately the only thing i want to do is move to seattle. it's killing me being so far from jeff and jax. and what's killing me even more is the reality of my finances. i don't believe i will be able to visit them this year. which, if i start to talk or think about it, i cry. no lies.
i hate being far away. i hate feeling alone... that i have no supporters here. i hate the feeling that i am a terrible artist. there is so much packed inside of me, so many different ideas, so much potential, but i can't bring them to fruition... they're stuck inside and it hurts. the feelings are real. i am a strong believer that emotions are very true, very real, and should never be discarded. (thank you jacquie & my old therapist for teaching me that).
so now. i'm stuck. what do i really want? to make art. to love. i want to sing, to make music, for a time. i haven't admitted that in years. somebody asked me why i don't? i responded "i don't know... i can't play any instrument" when in actually i should have said, "taylor asked me the same thing..."
so maybe music is a new avenue i can dance around in. we'll see. there are some opportunities. the real question is if i have the capability of being good.
for now sayonara.
love.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
lost & found
in my effort to revive my life in photography and that section of my art, i have realized that there is a good chance the majority of my files (the documentary ones.... the ones i love) are only little baby files.
so in honor of them (you bet i'll figure out something to do with them):
malibu, california.
laguna, california. 
arcadia, california.
los angeles.
asian market, chicago-land area. 
chicago. 
michigan city, indiana. 
so in honor of them (you bet i'll figure out something to do with them):
malibu, california.
laguna, california. 
arcadia, california.
los angeles.
asian market, chicago-land area. 
chicago. 
michigan city, indiana. 
Monday, June 1, 2009
herbs and struggles and vegetable gardens
we have found 10 men in this city, collectively, who adamantly don't.
which is sad.
i don't for my own reasons. i think i might try it once, maybe, if my sister weren't such a huge influence in that area of life.
it doesn't make sense to me, for the most part, why so many people aren't adamant about not doing it, especially if they're in the church, actively, or even claiming. you know. good people. good men. kind, caring, genuinely good men.
it has spurred conversations that have been somewhat enlightening. perhaps airing more on the side of perspectives. different perspectives.
it makes sense. and it doesn't. all at once. which i guess is kind of how society actually is these days. illogical - making sense, and not.
one day. one day.
at the very same time, there are so many things that are lacking in my life, so many places where i am a hypocrite, where i am not what i say i am. hypocrite is the wrong word, its more like many different areas where i struggle. communication, devotion, etc etc. the lists go on. everyday life is a struggle. one day i am good and on track and the next i am seeking to be back on that very track i just jumped off of. we all have issues. i embrace that. that is real. that is real life. it's life. we struggle, work through. some are satisfied being in the struggling state, others are struggling towards something. its a journey, a process, there's an ultimate goal at the end, but when we really think of it (and someone great once spoke this into my life) that it is more about the process than it is about the end goal. constantly reviewing and renewing and working towards being a better, loving person, who is real and honest and full of integrity, that struggle [the working through] is often more important than the end goal. especially considering that we are on a time line, we need tangible, we need present realities. so in the moment, the goal is what works us through, but the process is often more important.
love love.
which is sad.
i don't for my own reasons. i think i might try it once, maybe, if my sister weren't such a huge influence in that area of life.
it doesn't make sense to me, for the most part, why so many people aren't adamant about not doing it, especially if they're in the church, actively, or even claiming. you know. good people. good men. kind, caring, genuinely good men.
it has spurred conversations that have been somewhat enlightening. perhaps airing more on the side of perspectives. different perspectives.
it makes sense. and it doesn't. all at once. which i guess is kind of how society actually is these days. illogical - making sense, and not.
one day. one day.
at the very same time, there are so many things that are lacking in my life, so many places where i am a hypocrite, where i am not what i say i am. hypocrite is the wrong word, its more like many different areas where i struggle. communication, devotion, etc etc. the lists go on. everyday life is a struggle. one day i am good and on track and the next i am seeking to be back on that very track i just jumped off of. we all have issues. i embrace that. that is real. that is real life. it's life. we struggle, work through. some are satisfied being in the struggling state, others are struggling towards something. its a journey, a process, there's an ultimate goal at the end, but when we really think of it (and someone great once spoke this into my life) that it is more about the process than it is about the end goal. constantly reviewing and renewing and working towards being a better, loving person, who is real and honest and full of integrity, that struggle [the working through] is often more important than the end goal. especially considering that we are on a time line, we need tangible, we need present realities. so in the moment, the goal is what works us through, but the process is often more important.
love love.
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