4.29

found this from april 29th of this year:

the sad part of growing up is that not everyone does. i don't mean in the lose your child like imagination and fantasy, because i'm on board with staying childlike in your imagination and creativity. this however has to do with personal growth.

we each grow at different rates, deal with various road blocks and struggle through this, that and the next.

but some people just never grew up, never matured, never had to make something for themselves, or maybe just haven't dealt with that really hard situation which happens to be the one that makes the giant light bulb light up and make everything click into place.

its an unfortunate thing to grow up too soon. the girls around me are all so young, so young. a combination of my "too-much" maturity, and media crashing into one horrible, lip glossed "likes", and a lot of non-senseical insecurities.

and then i realize that every person deals with their different struggles, their life changing battle at different times. mine all started when i was 14. and now i realize two things: first that too often my nerves revert me into a protection shell, therefore, if i am acting cold, it's most likely that i am nervous about talking to you (or you're a creep, but im assuming that you are not). second, i've discovered in the last week or so (THIS IS BIG) that whoever it is that i spend my life with (if i am even blessed to marry), i want them to be near my age. i don't want to miss out on my childhood anymore than i already have. i need whoever the love of my life may be, to be someone who can and will act like a child with me, who will push my creativity, my imagination and NEVER NEVER NEVER let the adults make my life about statistics & figures.

The Little Prince:

All grown-ups were children first. (But few remember it).... Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is exhausting for children to have to provide explanations over and over again.

so i hope and pray for someone to share my life with who is mature, yet child like.

none of us grow up at the same rate, but maybe some of us can help the others grow, but maintain child like aspects and virtues.