worms

on rainy days, the worms come out of their deep holes to get some of that good ol' moisture. unfortunately for us, while it's helping them get some air and wiggle around, it makes the air smell like, well, worms.

i don't exactly know what the smell is, and i don't know how to describe it. so the best title for the smell is.... worms. by association, it claims the name - there is a certain scent (to be nice) in the air, after a long rain, and there happens to be worms on the ground... yes. duh. i'm going to call it the smell of worms.

haven't you ever noticed it?

it's gross, and awkward and sticky smelling, maybe even a little gooey.

but

everyone knows, there's nothing like the beautiful, wonderful days that bring spring, it's flowers, rain & thunderstorms, oh! the thunderstorms are magnificent! and there's nothing more beautiful than staying up late listening to the thunder & rain and waking to the world turing from a brownish-grey hue to a beautifully brilliant green.

yes folks,

spring. is. here.

the follow up

a. i am sick. the only reason why i'm writing this tonight is because i am taking my medicine - which is in the form of tea. so its a slow process.

b. mikey & kirsten.

so. i picked them up, took them to the party of a life time. not really. i actually just wanted them to see what it all looked like. see what my friends were like, see what these people were like.

it was so interesting to observe and to interact with the entire situation.

(eesh. this medicine is hot. and gross)

i think what i realized is that a lot of what happens here is so foreign to those who don't live here. make sense? when i moved here, yeah, it was all weird and bizarre, but i knew it was something i liked. something i wanted to be a part of, and something i certainly wanted to invest in.

so maybe that's where you draw the line. there are two reasons why people can be closed to places: a. they don't belong there or b. they're too closed minded and need to be stripped of their insecurities & comforts.

not saying either of these are kirst and mike. more so, they probably don't belong here. there are only a small few who do. and besides it's not like they were totally closed to this.

cough cough cough

ugh. this grossness has got to go.

love

tonight i introduced mike & kirst to the east side boys.

more on this tomorrow.

march

it's march. finally.

february was a rough one, and sheesh, march isn't startin out too hot either. snow/rain/sleet for today. no fun. the ten day forecast is predicting a 60˚ monday. so that'll be nice, it was supposed to be 70˚ on Sunday (according to yesterday's ten day forecast....).

not much to say today.

i'm listening to the girls next to me talk about their medical consumed lives.... and looking for great art.

adios

cleanliness

its 5:14 on a Friday night and i'm staring at this wreck of a room with dread.

yes, i have to clean it. not only do i have to clean it, but it has to get done tonight. without fail.

i've been putting it off for far too long, it's just not right. part of that is because i'd rather spend time with friends than clean my room, and i'd rather work and make money. so with both those 'rather's' fighting against a clean room, i'm now stuck between a rock and a hard place. yes. it has to get done.

why so imperative?

because kirst is coming tonight! so, within the next six hours, i have a goal. accompanied by many mini goals.

a. clean room. (this includes all laundry, folding, sweeping, arranging, etc).

b. clean up kitchen. (dishes, counters, etc).

c. edit a design

d. shower. oh glory.

e. make my hair look nice.

f. get a drink? (yes, this is the one that i'm kinda more excited about than all the others, but it is also the one that is more on the rocks than any other..... figuratively, not literally).

and by the time all these things are done, i will have a perfectly perfectish room.

love, hugs, & kisses

recess

this week was my first week working for & with sarah barlow.

it really is fantastic how much we get done together, however i have come to the sad realization that i have the attention span of a 4 year old. every two hours, on the dot, i lose complete focus and need a change (scenery, ideas, anything). its more like i need recess. if only adult life provided me with a giant swingset and playground to go and let out 15 minutes of stircrazy per two hours..... then again, maybe recess for me is what i'm pursuing.

in which case, being between 2 & 6 years old makes me right on target. and the attention span, we're just going to have to learn a good system for that.

as for everything else in my life...... ay, car problems, always. starting to pay my loan back next month. but, work is, good. both works. however, my room is suffering, and my sleep schedule.

and chachi keeps acting up.

so i guess we all need the sun and warm weather so everyone, including chachi, can have a little recess.

day of the dead

yesterday was the eight year anniversary of my mom's death.

i didn't tell a soul.

does that make me a bad person?

people knew, months prior, i just didn't want to say anything that day.

so today, it has been almost 3,000 days since my mom has walked this earth.

weird to think about, huh?

what's even stranger to think about is how people used to live for hundreds of years. did you hear me? HUNDREDS OF YEARS. i mean people didn't even start having kids until they were 80 (and you have to put it all into perspective.... they probably didn't age like we do today - it was probably stretched out over those hundreds of years). which, by the way, i'm not talking about 200 years, i'm saying more like 600-800 years. you're thinking it, i'm thinking it, so here it is: holy shit.

now that is where its at. seriously. not having kids until you're 80. that gives you 80 years of hanging out and not being responsible for other peoples lives - other than your spouse - if you choose to marry.

i didn't tell anyone because i didn't want to.

last year i did my taxes.

yesterday, i worked. it felt good.

i worked on art.

i saw my dear friend everett thomas play a show (follow him and his adventure on twitter @EverettThomas).

it all felt good.

i didn't feel bad about it.

a lot of it is the fact that people don't know how to handle it. people don't know how to interact with a person who has lost someone so significant in their lives. they use words like "passed" and "lost". lets just be clear - no one who has lost someone that important wants to beat around the bush i take that back, i'm not going to speak for the rest of the world and how they deal with deaths. but i sure don't want to use fluffy words, steering clear of the factual, brutal honesty of the situation.

all this to say. i respect my mother. i love & loved her very much. i wish she could experience my life, and walk through it with me, and most importantly be someone i could rely on. i don't always think about her, i think about her most days, but not every - but i sure as hell will tell you, i wish i could just chat with her. she was an amazing woman, and i only hope that i can try to make her proud. trust me, i sure don't succeed most days. what i can say, is that if my mom can hear me, or see me, i think her and i would have a more compatible understanding of who the Lord Our God is.

isn't it kinda cool to know that the most important person in my life serves the same God i do.

i am so thankful that the Lord has given me dreams of her.

so now. time for work (with sarah - @sarahbarlow ) we're going to work hard and make beautiful art and give people a good project.

amen.

its tuesdee